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Giuliani joining 'The Masked Singer' is gross. Here’s a fitting song list for him.

Rudy Giuliani's coming appearance on the costumed singing competition is an absurd cry for attention, but I'll play along this time. Here are the songs he should sing.

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Rudy Giuliani, an errand boy for Donald Trump who aided in the former president's effort to overturn the 2020 election, will reportedly make an appearance on Fox's “The Masked Singer."

If you’re unaware of the show's premise, the idea is that celebrities (and I'm using the term broadly) wear elaborate costumes and compete in a sing-off, with the loser being forced to reveal their identity. 

Giuliani’s reveal was reportedly enough to get musician Robin Thicke and actor Ken Jeong, two of the show’s judges, to walk off the set, according to reports from Deadline, TMZ and CNN.

And who can blame them? I can’t think of a clearer sign we’re on the fast track to dystopia than the idea of fascists dressing up in glorified furry costumes to sing “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” or something like that. 

Regardless, I do hope the "The Masked Singer” production team kept a good amount of Tide on deck for Giuliani’s costume — you know, in case of emergencies: 

Rudy Giuliani conducts a news conference at the Republican National Committee on lawsuits regarding the outcome of the 2020 presidential election on Thursday, November 19, 2020.
Rudy Giuliani, one of former President Donald Trump's longtime allies, conducts a news conference at the Republican National Committee on Nov. 19, 2020. Tom Williams / CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images, File

Either way, Giuliani’s appearance on the show, airing next month, was reportedly short-lived. He was apparently kicked off after the first episode. I did, however, take the liberty of creating a tracklist of, shall we say, “fitting” songs Giuliani, enemy of democracy, almost certainly should have sung. Some of them, like Usher’s “Confessions Part II” and Sade’s “Is It A Crime?” are pretty self-explanatory. Others, like Atlantic Starr’s “Secret Lovers,” might require a little background info. (Giuliani once married his second cousin). 

Without further ado, here's Giuliani's "lost" song list for "The Masked Singer." Enjoy!

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