Tomorrow night, millions of Americans will tune in to watch the first debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney. And millions more will not.
One look at your trusty TV Guide and it's easy to see why. Your favorite Wednesday night shows like Modern Family, The X Factor, and something called Law & Order are all pre-empted.
But you'll take sports over a night of politics, right? Who'd want to watch two out of touch bloviators NOT answer questions for 90 minutes when the Tigers are playing the Royals? IN KANSAS CITY.
Just kidding, no one watches them. But unless your name is Chuck Todd, you probably think the debates are really boring. Or, you decided who you're voting for back in May, like normal people.
But I'm here to tell you: debates can be fun. What you need is a Twitter buddy.
What's a Twitter buddy you ask? It's a debate ambassador of sorts. And it will save your life. Pick a few. Watching a live debate while following your favorite Twitter personalities will make a wonky and depressing live puppet show super fun and, if you do it right, maybe even spice up an otherwise humdrum night for you and your special someone.
Good debate Twitter buddies fit the following criteria: they let you know when to drink, because, that's important. And you need a list of words so you know when to do that. They'll tweet out, word-for-word, debate one-liners they deem important, in case you can't tell. For you old folks, this is like delayed closed captioning. Helpful. They'll post snarky, insider-sounding comments that you won't understand, like "I bet Hendrink Hertzberg liked that one" or "5K per household? Where are we, Oslo?" RT and sound smart. And if you include one of the crazier celebrities on Twitter, like Roseanne, Cher or Jose Canseco, they'll make you feel like a political savant.
With the right collection of Twitter buddies, 90 minutes will fly by in no time. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get tipsy. And most importantly, you'll leave informed. By the real people that matter, like Alec Baldwin.
Now before you flood me with emails, yes…I AM available tomorrow night. I'd love to be your Twitter buddy (@secupp). You bring the wine, I'll bring the snark and together, we can turn this debate into a rocking good time. See you then.