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TRMS Infoxication writing challenge winners

Huzzah!
TRMS Infoxication writing challenge: Terror in the bog!
TRMS Infoxication writing challenge: Terror in the bog!

Huzzah! The latest installment of the TRMS Infoxication* Writing Challenge was another triumph; your Fox Nation-esque headline writing chops cannot be stopped, we can only hope to contain them.

So here are our winners. Congratulations and thanks to all who submitted. The selection process is brutal!

(*Just to recap, Infoxication means transforming these three headlines into roaring, terror-filled Fox Nation type headlines.)

Moon Sweeps Past Fading Mars in Monday's Night Sky

  • Obama Fails to Prevent Lunar-Planetary Inversion; Will it Cost Him Florida? —SomeGuy 3249169
  • Crescent Moon and Star Appear in Night Sky after Muslim Brotherhood Seizes Egyptian Presidency —NoPeas4Me
  • Obama Dictatorial Space Regulations Punish Moon Success —John Sheirer

Miami Celebrates Heat Championship With Victory Parade

  • Miami Heat Attend Pro-Rick Scott Rally —June1636030
  • Big Government Pays 160 Police Officers to Celebrate —Glasya
  • Miami Celebrates the 1% —Charles Pace

Galapagos Tortoise Lonesome George Dies

  • Turtle Lives Longer Than Most Humans, Challenging "Endangered Wildlife" Claims —Mike Dole
  • Aged Galapagos Tortoise Renounces "Old Friend" Darwin Before Lonely Demise —Ted Jacbobs
  • Lonesome George passes prior to 'Fast and Furious' verdict. Had declared investigation 'too slow.' —Angeni Lemieux