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How to embrace an 'attitude of gratitude,' straight from the 'Queen of Manifesting'

Self-development coach, Roxie Nafousi, shares lessons from her runaway hit, “Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life,” which has taken social media by storm.
British self-development coach Roxie Nafousi writes about her journey toward manifesting and healing.
British self-development coach Roxie Nafousi writes about her journey toward manifesting and healing.Alex Hutchinson

Four years ago, when Roxie Nafousi was 27, she found herself without a career or direction, in the grip of addiction and suffering from depression. After hitting rock bottom, a friend introduced her to manifesting – the practice of making your life what you want it to be – a decades-old concept rooted in the power positive thinking. For Nafousi, that sparked an unexpected path to recovery.

Now, the self-development coach, motivational speaker and mother has taken the self-help genre by storm with her debut book on the topic, “Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life,” chronicling her journey from hurt to healing.

Roxie Nafousi's instant bestseller, "Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life," debuted in the UK in 2022.
Roxie Nafousi's instant bestseller, "Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life," debuted in the UK in 2022.Penguin Random House UK

Dubbed Britain’s “queen of manifesting,” Nafousi centers her guidance on the intersection of positive thinking and deliberate, purposeful action. “The most important thing to understand about manifesting is this: you do not manifest from your conscious thoughts alone,” she wrote in the book. “You manifest from your subconscious beliefs about what you deserve. This means that you can only manifest what you truly believe you are worthy of attracting into your life.”

Nafousi’s methods emphasize what she calls the meeting of science and wisdom, carried out by “high vibe” emotions (ie. the law of attraction). Positive thoughts – joy, hope, kindness – attract more positive energy, leading to desired outcomes.

One critical step in that process involves understanding and embracing gratitude. “To live in ‘an attitude of gratitude’, we must cultivate it so that it becomes part of our essence,” she wrote. “We must practice it over and over again in order to begin to rewire our neurological pathways so that we automatically focus on all the good in our lives rather than the bad. If you do this, you will change your natural state, redirect your attention to abundance and allow your manifesting process to become effortless. Remember that where attention goes, energy flows.”

The best-selling author recently shared her top advice for women to overcome self-limiting behaviors, realize their worth and find their manifesting “sweet spot."

Know Your Value: You’ve garnered an international reputation as the “Queen of Manifesting.” What does manifesting look like in everyday life, and how is it different than meditating or mindfulness practices?

Nafousi: At the heart of manifesting is self-worth; we manifest what we believe we are worthy of receiving. That means that everything you do impacts your manifesting process. I know that can sound quite overwhelming, which is why I laid it out in seven simple steps!

Manifesting is a self-development practice in itself, it is a way of living. Whereas meditating and mindfulness are rituals that you do to support your manifesting process (or your personal development) and it’s something you spend a certain amount of time on each day.

Know Your Value: What inspired you to write “Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life”?

Nafousi: I first ‘tested’ the seven steps on myself; it changed my life in every way imaginable. In 2019, I started hosting workshops and webinars for people where I would teach them my guide to manifesting, and I quickly saw that it wasn’t just me it worked for.

People kept telling their friends and in the space of a year, and through word of mouth alone, the number of people attending my workshops went from 100 to more than 700. It was truly changed lives and I knew I wanted to change as many lives as possible, so I decided to turn my steps into a book. I wanted the book to be accessible, easy to follow and practical. It is a book for EVERYONE. I truly believe that anybody in the world could read this book and find value and make at least one positive change to their lives.

Know Your Value: Before discovered manifesting, what challenges were you dealing with personally?

Nafousi: Four years ago, I was in a battle with cocaine addiction, suffering from depression and had absolutely no career. I also had zero self-worth and had always felt like an outsider looking in. I truly didn’t think I would ever experience happiness or joy. I feel incredibly grateful every day that life is so different now.

Know Your Value: Many women struggle with self-limiting beliefs like imposter syndrome or fear of failure. How can a manifesting mindset help women overcome self-sabotage?

Nafousi: This is definitely true, it’s something we all really suffer from to varying extents. In my book I have chapters dedicated to the importance of healing and removing self-limiting beliefs as well as explaining the self-sabotage cycle.

When we can understand why we self-sabotage, we can develop the awareness required to break the patterns and cycles that are currently holding us back. Manifesting helps us shift the way we view ourselves, the way we show up day-to-day and the people we become, which all helps us to overcome that urge to self-sabotage.

Know Your Value: What role does gratitude play in manifesting your goals? How can we fully embrace the qualities of gratitude?

Nafousi: In the book, Step 5 to manifesting is “Embrace Gratitude (without caveats).” Gratitude is an essential part of the process; I say that the ‘manifesting sweet spot’ is knowing what you want whilst being entirely grateful for all that you already have.

Gratitude helps us raise our vibrational frequency – make the lives we already have feel more fulfilling – and has incredible effects on our overall well-being. We can actually retrain our brains to adopt an attitude of gratitude and focus our attention on the good in our life by consistently using daily gratitude practices.

Know Your Value: One of your steps involves turning envy into inspiration. Explain how and does gratitude have a role in that transformation?

Nafousi: I encourage people to use envy to show us what still needs healing within us or what we want more of in our lives. Encouraging people to transform envy into inspiration is integral to the manifestation process and can be used to help us on our inner journey.

Inspiration is the antithesis of envy and reflects an abundance mindset; it says, “there is more than enough for everyone.” We can make an easy perspective shift to do this. When you become aware of your envy, immediately CHOOSE a more inspired thought.

When we practice gratitude and focus on what we already have, we are naturally less inclined to be so concerned with what everybody else has and we are less encouraged to focus on the ‘lack’ in our life, which fuels feelings of envy.

Know Your Value: At this point in your manifesting journey, what advice would you give to your younger self?

Nafousi: I would just tell my younger self that all the power was within me to make my life exactly how I wanted it to be. And that I was enough, just as I was.