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TRMS Writing Challenge: Romney's Missing Two Minutes RESULTS

As we now know, during Mitt Romney's disastrous 47-percenter speech, one or two minutes went unrecorded.
TRMS Writing Challenge: Romney's Missing Two Minutes RESULTS
TRMS Writing Challenge: Romney's Missing Two Minutes RESULTS

As we now know, during Mitt Romney's disastrous 47-percenter speech, one or two minutes went unrecorded. The question, what did Mitt Romney actually say to his fundraisers? The answer may never be known for sure, but your response to our Writing Challenge raised many tantalizing possibilities.

Thanks to all for your hard work, which left us both dazzled and humbled. (humdazzed?) Here are some of your ideas as to what Mr. Romney may have said during those mysterious two minutes:

"Now, if we all stick together and we take the White House I will show you the secrets of legal tax evasion where you will pay more no more than 5%... And... If you contribute 100,000 dollars to my campaign tonight and give 5 quality leads that bring in an additional 250,000 dollars I will show you how to legally pay NO taxes ... EVER!!" --Tony Cz   

"Who's covering the tips for the wait-staff?" *silence* "Anybody?" *crickets chirping* "Okay...know what? Don't worry about, folks, these people get paid by the hour, right? Heh heh heh!" *thunderous applause*  -- Karyn Van Kainen  

"Anyone know how to make 'The Hunger Games' legal?" --Nomoremagicalthinking

There was a brief delay as Rombots control signal was temporarily overridden by telemetry from Curiousity. During this time Rombot took high res photos of his feet and tested his sampling laser on a fruit platter. -- Arthur Brown 4670438

"So with that said, I am sure the burning question is, "how do we take the food away from these people who feel they deserve to eat?"-- Joe Faruq Dash

and finally....

"...and I call it, The Aristocrats!"-- bSmartPlz