TRMS headline writing challenge: Infoxication

Updated
 
TRMS headline writing challenge: Infoxication
TRMS headline writing challenge: Infoxication

Headlines like these can only come from one place…

Stunning Detroit Dysfunction Uncovered

Hanoi Jane to Vets Boycotting Her Movie: Get A Life

NY Post: Lies of Obamacare

Daily Beast: How 60s Radicals Ended Up Teaching Your Kids

Back in the Limelight: Bush Returns To Public Stage On His Own Terms

Such is the rich biosphere of Fox Nation, where Hanoi Jane and Obamacare, abetted by 60s radicals and politically correct Pentagon officials in saggy pants, reign unchecked in a charity hating, anti gay gun owning gulag called Detroit. Luckily George W. Bush is waiting in the wings, on his own terms.  Granted, trying to top these anxiety-filled headline gems may seem like an fool’s errand, but that should never stop us from trying.

Take these three headlines:

Stocks Ease in Early Trading; Gold Plunges

Giant, Rat-Sized Snails Invade South Florida

Aussies Go Wild Over Native Adam Scott’s Masters Win

Given the Infoxication treatment, they might sound like this:

Unanswered Benghazi Questions Trigger Gold Panic

Castro-Engineered Spy Snails Leave Slime Trail of Terror

Foreign Aggressor Conquers Georgia, Vows “It’s Only The Beginning”

Now it’s your turn. Channel your inner Fox Nation headline writer, post your submissions in the comments and we’ll enjoy a sampling of your collective genius tomorrow. Good luck!

TRMS headline writing challenge: Infoxication

Updated