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TRMS Headline Writing Challenge: Infoxication

As both Rachel and Steve Benen pointed out recently, the Fox Nation web site has a singular way with words.For instance, the headline above?
TRMS Headline Writing Challenge: Infoxication
TRMS Headline Writing Challenge: Infoxication

As both Rachel and Steve Benen pointed out recently, the Fox Nation web site has a singular way with words.

For instance, the headline above? Obama Regime: Working Outdoors Can Kill You

That story is actually about OSHA warning people who work outside to get enough water, rest and sit in the shade from time to time.

Though in Fox Nation's hands, this innocuous, even slightly boring story, becomes an anxiety-filled conspira-bomb pointed squarely at the heart of our socialist overlords. Whaddaya mean, hydrate? DON'T TELL ME TO HYDRATE!

Once the lizard brain fear and indignation subsides, (and it does take a while,) another, equally powerful feeling takes its place: why can't I do that?

So let's give it a try, shall we? Here are three fairly sedate headlines from today's news:

  1. College Sweethearts Find Love Again After 60 Years Apart
  2. Apple Readies iPhone With Bigger Screen: Sources
  3. London 2012: Olympic Flame Tours Greece

Given the Fox Nation treatment, they might read:

  1. Obamacare Punishes Elderly For 60 Years
  2. Obama Silent While Deadly New Terror Screen Sets Stage For Cyber-Jihad
  3. Obama Parties With Clooney While Greece Burns

Now it's your turn. Infoxify the above three headlines (or different ones, if you give and cite the original first) and we'll post the winners tomorrow. Enjoy!