Today in Hyperbole: President Obama the Klan Punisher

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The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer has a new and typically innovative theory about the motivations of President Obama. To wit (with our own annotations):

“And I believe I understand now what Barack Obama is about.1 And it is intentional, it is not ineptitude on his part,2 it is intentional and his mission in life is to punish the United States for being a racist country.3 That’s what drives him, it’s what animates him, it’s what energizes every single thing he does4 to punish this country, to cut it down to size, to wound it, to hurt it, to damage it, to diminish it in order to punish the United States for being a racist country.5

To Barack Obama, the entire United States of America is one big, giant Ku Klux Klan6 and the Constitution, for Barack Obama, is the membership charter for this giant Ku Klux Klan7 … And I honestly believe8 that this is how Barack Obama sees the United States of America; one big, giant Ku Klux Klan meeting9 and it’s his job to punish the Ku Klux Klan, which is the United States of America in his worldview.”10

1 — i.e. I’ve spent weeks thinking up something even less reality-based than my previous crack-pottery.
2  Not ineptitude? Bryan Fischer, I’m starting to question your commitment to this cause…
3 — A country so racist, that it would elect someone named Barack Hussein Obama to be its president. Possibly twice.
4 Drives, animates, energizes—Roget’s Thesaurus salutes your use of active synonymous verbs, sir!
5 Look at what he wears. Look at his family. Listen to how he speaks. Clearly Barack Obama is a rage-filled instrument of pure vengeance.
6 This info will come as a HUGE surprise to the millions of non white male protestants who live in this country. Bit of a membership shocker for the Klan, too, I suspect.
7 He must have learned that in one of those radical liberal civics madrassas used to indoctrinate Hawaiian kids.
8 When people say, “I honestly believe” – they honestly don’t.
9 Does he mean a big giant meeting of the Klan or a meeting of big giant Klansmen? Giant Klansmen—now there’s a Marvel comics villain. Avengers Assemble!
10 And how does he punish the Klan? By passing health care and killing Osama bin Laden. BAM! Want some more? Huh? Huh….?

Today in Hyperbole: President Obama the Klan Punisher

Updated