Today in Hyperbole: ENDA equals Death

Today in Hyperbole: ENDA equals Death
Today in Hyperbole: ENDA equals Death

Just to recap, ENDA, The Employment Non-Discrimination Act would ban hiring discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. Cue Right Wing freakout!

Yesterday, on the Crosstalk radio show, Mat Staver chairman of the Liberty Counsel went on a full scale hyperbo-spasm. Take away? Equality for gay people equals Death! To wit (with our annotations):

“Years ago I said what the ultimate goal of this homosexual agenda1 was not this sexual orientation where you are wired to a particular way2 but ultimately the abolition of gender.3 It’s hard for us to even comprehend that,4 how can you abolish the concept or the construct of gender, male and female,5 it’s so objective, it’s so obvious, how can you do that?6

But that’s exactly what they want to do:7 Anything that you see is just fictitious.8 It’s only what’s in your mind.9 If you abolish the concept of gender you ultimately undermine morality,10 you ultimately have no morality and norms for men and women or sexual behavior.11 As Alfred Kinsey ultimately wanted to do,12 he wanted to undermine morality in marriage.13 Why?14 So he could undermine the very concept of God himself.15”

1. Wait, wait, wait…there’s an AGENDA?!? Come on people, is it so hard to hit “forward” on an e-mail once in a while?
2. Wired, huh? I’m looking at you, Tin Man.
3. Yeeeesssss, because without gender, gay people would be free to……WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???!!
4. Yes, this IS hard to comprehend. SO hard. You have no idea how hard.
5. Who is YOU in this sentence? Mit Staver? God? Adam Lambert?
6. Exactly! As you read this, keep asking yourself, how can you do that… how can you do that?
7. THEY again! It’s like everything funnels back into THEY…the dots are connecting… wheels are turning…
8. Funny, I’m sensing something fictitious right now…
9. Remember: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” - Shakespeare
10. So, if you abolish this thing I just said couldn’t be abolished, THIS impossible thing will happen…
11. And voila: every straight person in the world will immediately swan dive off Point Gay.
12. Because Kinsey and Mat Staver were close friends and he revealed to Mat Staver, and only Mat Staver, what his true intentions were.
13. Curse you, empirical data based on the accurate long term observation of human behavior!
14. Finally we agree: Why? Why? Why?
15. Let’s see if I’m getting this: by NOT discriminating against gay people trying to get a job, humanity is undermining the all-merciful, all-powerful, all-knowing master of the universe. Thanks for clearing that up.

Today in Hyperbole: ENDA equals Death