Starting a ‘relatively small hedge fund’

Updated
Starting a 'relatively small hedge fund'
Starting a 'relatively small hedge fund'

If this Jezebel item hasn’t already crossed your radar, it’s worth reading, just to get a sense of the mindset of a very unique group of people.

To set the stage, an unnamed, hyper-wealthy young guy wrote an email to his fraternity brothers, offering some of them a new career opportunity.

As some of you may already know, I have been interested in the world of finance for some time. After a series of summer internships, however, I have somehow found myself without a full-time job offer for the upcoming year. F***n’ Obama’s fault for strangling this economy.

Luckily, due to the tough job market, my dad has agreed to let me access my trust fund early (mid 7-figures) to start a relatively small hedge fund, __— Ventures, after graduation. I’m emailing you guys today to let you know that, for the rest rest of the year, I will be recruiting 2 full-time employees and 1 intern to help me get this off the ground.

With my financial expertise, help from my powerful father and connections, and a skilled team, I have no doubt that this fund will rise quickly to prominence. We’ll all get filthy rich and, inevitably, bag hot slampieces. If possible, I’d love to give all 3 of these positions to my brothers.

Jon Chait joked this morning, “I’ve never even been slightly tempted to think, ‘Screw it, let’s give communism a try,’ until I read this email.”

There is certainly something nauseating about the message. The same college student complaining about that darn president “strangling” the economy has the freedom to tap a trust fund, make plans to start a hedge fund (before he even graduates), hire some of his frat buddies, and exploit his family connections.

And as a result, he and his pals will “get filthy rich” and “bag hot slampieces.” For the record, I haven’t the foggiest idea what a “slampiece” is, but in context, it’s not too tough to figure out.

This same guy will also inevitably vote Republican because, gosh darn it, people have to learn personal responsibility and stop looking for handouts.

It’s easy to forget sometimes that the caricature of the Spoiled and Obnoxious Trust Fund Brat can actually exist in human form. Adding insult to injury, Ezra Klein added, “This kid is a misogynist and a moron who couldn’t get a real job even with his dad’s connections. But that doesn’t mean his hedge fund will fail. It might be exactly why it succeeds, at least for awhile.”

Update: Jezebel has updated its piece with this message: “According to a tipster, the email a prank – but a slightly more complicated one, if the story is to be believed. Hacked email accounts and dark listserv majick, etc. More here.”

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Starting a 'relatively small hedge fund'

Updated