‘No’ Theater

No. No, no, no, no, no. No.
No. No, no, no, no, no. No.

Do we get it now? Chris Christie is not running for president. Not. As in, the opposite of is. Still, the heartbroken fanboys in the Republican Party who dreamed of a glorious Christie administration are finding it hard to let go. Can you imagine the headlines?

  • Governor Christie Warms Up for Certain 2012 Presidential Run With Blunt Repudiation of 2012 Presidential Run
  • Coy Christie “Claims” He’s Not Running, Leaves Door Wide Open For Clones, Avatars
  • In Press Conference, Christie Repeatedly Says the Words “President,” “I” and “Run”
  • Analysis: It All Depends on What Your Definition of “I’m Not Running for President Next Year” Is
  • Uncanny Christie Impersonator Punks Entire News Media, “Real” Christie To Announce Candidacy Tomorrow
  • Sources: Christie’s 77th Denial Noticeably Weaker Than Previous 76, Will Enter Race By Weekend
  • Cutup Christie Hones Comedy Chops, Polishes Off Old “I’m Not Running” Gag

Got more? Please share your headlines in the comments below. (P.S. He’s really not running.)