Heard in Wisconsin: ‘We can’t replace me’

Updated
 

While it’s big news that Republican Scott Walker is staring at recall as governor of Wisconsin, let’s not overlook the fact that his right hand, Rebecca Kleefisch, appears to be the first lieutenant governor anywhere to ever face recall. 

Surprise! She’s not happy about it.  Just last week Lt. Gov.  Kleefisch said former Dane County executive Kathleen Falk was “setting women back 50 years” for running against Gov. Walker in the recall election. And that Ms. Falk was using public employee unions as a “sugar daddy” to support her campaign.

More recently, Right Wing Watch caught Lt. Governor Kleefisch’s appearance (see above video) on the American Family Association radio network with host Sandy Rios.  Here are a few highlights, with our own annotations:

“If we lose this recall, any politician, Republican or Democrat, is going to think twice before making a politically bold, a courageous decision because they know that the threat of recall is just around the corner.”  (Nobody told me we’d have  to answer to THE PEOPLE from Day One. It’s like the source of our power is derived from the will of the electorate or something. If only there was SOME way to reverse this terrible thing that’s happened to me…)

“I think we’re gonna win. I think we’re gonna win because if you go to the ballot box, and you vote on the facts, then you vote for us every time. (Because if A and B are true, the only logical result is Z$R++CBX<E@NEIMSN@**wockawocka)  

“Because the facts are, it worked. (See previous theorem.) The reforms are saving hundreds of millions of dollars (at last,  a dollar figure on your constitutional rights! The magic of the free market, ftw!) and my little girls and Scott’s teenage boys and all the children of Wisconsin are going to have a bright and prosperous future in our state (thank you, Mom and Dad, for saving us from the tyranny of self-governance) because we have seen the danger coming and we have stopped it from reaching our kids. (Avengers, assemble!)

“We have prevented a crisis for our healthcare and our pension system because we addressed the challenges when we saw them. (And we addressed those challenges in a hurry, when no one was looking, because…it’s quieter that way…) Other states just aren’t doing that. (They’re waiting to see if we get recalled…can’t blame them, really…)

“I feel good about the election results but I need help. (i.e. money. I always feel better with more money. How about you?) I’ve got a website. It’s rebeccaforreal.com, and you know that money is just going to be flooding in from the unions (It’s like thousands of people are working toward  THE SAME GOALS! So unfair!) and the governor has been doing quite well fundraising, (Thank you again, Koch Brothers!!)  but we can’t replace me with a Democrat lieutenant governor  (Can’t? Can’t?!?!) who would make it his mission to use his lieutenant governor position as a bully pulpit  (Who could POSSIBLY  do such a thing??) for the next two years straight and harass our good governor. (Leave Governor Walker alone!!  All this noise is making it hard for him  to update his resume…)  You’ve got to continue making changes in Wisconsin.”  (Changes might be in the making in Wisconsin, Ms. Kleefisch, just not necessarily ones you were expecting.

P.S. Also? Lt. Gov. Kleefisch was one of Wisconsin’s perkiest TV journalists – as evidenced here, where she treats global warming as hi-larious) and here, where you can assess her video oeuvre at length.

Kleefisch-ionados  may also remember she’s also the one who said this about marriage equality:

“This is a slippery slope. In addition to that at what point are we going to be okay marrying inanimate objects? Can I marry this table or this, you know, clock? Can we marry dogs? This is ridiculous. And biblically, again, I’m going to go right back to my fundamental Christian beliefs marriage is between one man and one woman.”

(She later apologized, so feel free to marry as many clocks or dogs as you like.)

Rebecca Kleefisch and Wisconsin

Heard in Wisconsin: 'We can't replace me'

Updated