Government shutdown metaphor alert: the parable of the burning jersey

Updated
A frame from a YouTube video showing an angry football fan spend way too much money to perform a symbolic act of destruction that doesn't actually do anything about the thing he's angry about.
A frame from a YouTube video showing an angry football fan spend way too much money to perform a symbolic act of destruction that doesn't actually do anything about the thing he's angry about.

We at TRMS are always on the lookout for apt metaphors to help clarify and illustrate the news. As for last night’s Republican-induced government shutdown? How about this? (Note: folks at work may want to put headphones on rather than play this out loud.)

For those who can’t play video, here’s the story: On Sunday, the NFL’s Houston Texans lost a heartbreaker to the Seattle Seahawks, who came back to win in overtime, 23-20. Afterwards, some frustrated Texans fans gathered in the parking lot. Still seething over the loss, one fan pulled out $200 in cash and bought a replica number 8 jersey of the Texans’ generally excellent quarterback Matt Schaub. Then, he brandished his lighter and set the Schaub jersey on fire. At least, he tried to, because after several attempts, it stubbornly refused to light. Luckily, a fellow fan helpfully squirted lighter fluid all over it, causing the helpless number 8 jersey to erupt in a satisfying blaze. After a few half-hearted cheers at the sight of a piece of clothing being reduced to a sad pile of ashes, the Texans fans turned and wandered off. Ultimately, the ritual burning of Matt Schaub’s jersey had failed to reverse the outcome of the game.

There must be many. many more metaphors out there to describe the current shutdown. Please post them in the comments and we’ll share samples of your genius tomorrow. Good luck!

Government shutdown metaphor alert: the parable of the burning jersey

Updated