Four Score and Eleventy Something Years Ago

Updated
 
Four Score and Eleventy Something Years Ago
Four Score and Eleventy Something Years Ago

Salon had this to say about Fox News’ host Bill O’Reilly’s new book “Killing Lincoln”:

A reviewer for the official National Park Service bookstore at Ford’s Theatre has recommended that Bill O’Reilly’s bestselling new book about the Lincoln assassination not be sold at the historic site “because of the lack of documentation and the factual errors within the publication.”

Salon says that Rae Emerson, deputy superintendent at Ford’s Theatre, pointed out many other historical errors like, “ ‘Killing Lincoln’ makes multiple references to the Oval Office; in fact, Emerson points out, the office was not built until 1909.”

Pish posh. To me it sounds like the only thing Bill O’Reilly is guilty of is having a vivid imagination. Should an exciting narrative always be handcuffed to accepted “facts?” Even Abraham Lincoln’s story can be improved, if you’re willing to shove “history” to one side. —How’s this for an opener:

A black Cadillac Escalade crept slowly to the back entrance of Ford’s Theatre. Inside, an exhausted President Abraham Lincoln stared at his iPhone. After accepting friend requests from Thomas Edison and Tina Turner, Lincoln updated his Facebook status. “I’m @ Ford’s. Hope it doesn’t last too long. LOL!” The Rail Splitter then logged off, put the phone on vibrate and stepped wearily out of the Cadillac…”

Now it’s your turn, budding novelists. Your challenge is to write an opening sentence or two of an as-yet-unwritten novel about Abraham Lincoln, without the tethers of accuracy to impede you. Good luck!

Four Score and Eleventy Something Years Ago

Updated