Bachmann explains ‘the way we spank the president’

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I don’t generally laugh out loud while watching Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) share her wildly creative views on reality – I’m usually more inclined to wince – but this is one of the greatest Bachmann videos of all time. And given her track record, that’s not easy.

In this case, Right Wing Watch flags a video of Bachmann sitting down with WorldNetDaily, a fringe conspiracy website, in the hopes of rallying opposition to immigration reform. For those who can’t watch clips online – and really this one needs to be seen – here’s my transcript of the video:

“Contrary to popular opinion, Republicans won’t get patted on the back or get new votes because of passing amnesty. They’re going to get blamed. And it’s my prediction that the House Republicans could put themselves in a position where they could actually lose the gavel in 2014, because I think the president, even by executive order, can again wave his magic wand before 2014 [1] and he’d say now all of the new, legal Americans are going to have voting rights.’

“Why do I say that? He did it in 2012. Do you remember? Anyone who was here as a Latina under age 30, he said, ‘You get to vote.’ [2]

“What? He decides you get to vote? If he did it 2012, know – take it to the bank – he’ll do in 2014. And then guess what will happen? Democrat in the White House; Democrats controlling the Senate; Democrats controlling the House. At that point they will change election law, and it will be almost impossible to ever see a Republican majority again. [3]

“Do we get how important this is? I’m not crying wolf here. [4] This is working for the president. It’s not working for the American people, but, hey, it’s great by him. He has a perpetual magic wand and nobody’s given him a spanking yet [5] and taken it out of his hand. That’s what Congress needs to do – give the president a major wake-up call. And the way we spank the president is we do it through the checkbook. We’re the ones who say, ‘No, you can’t have the money.’ [6] What’s wrong with us? [7]”

Well, congresswoman, that’s a question that might take a little time to answer, but we can at least start by fact-checking this hilarious video.

[1] President Obama does not have a “magic wand” that gives people voting rights.

[2] We don’t “remember” this because it didn’t happen. The president allowed Dream Act kids to stay in the country, but he did not give them the right to vote. Bachmann appears to have simply made this up, and convinced herself that her imaginary world is true.

[3] How election law could be changed to prevent Republicans from winning is unclear. It’s far easier to see Republicans at the state level imposing the most sweeping voting restrictions since the Jim Crow era in the hopes of preventing traditional Democratic voters from participating in elections.

[4] For anyone with even the slightest familiarity with reality, Bachmann is, in fact, crying wolf here.

[5] Oh for crying out loud.

[6] It’s unclear which funds Bachmann wants to deny the president, but in context it seems to have something to do with immigration. Your guess is as good as mine.

[7] I have the same question about House Republicans all the time. If Bachmann figures it out, I hope she’ll let us know.

Keep in mind, Bachmann is not only responsible for helping write federal laws, but House Republican leaders also gave her a seat on the House Intelligence Committee, where she has access to some of the nation’s most sensitive national security information.

It’s not at all comforting.

Michele Bachmann

Bachmann explains 'the way we spank the president'

Updated