‘Saturday Night Live” settled the Deflate-Gate debate this weekend once and for all, calling out ”the real brains behind our operation”: the Patriots’ assistant equipment co-manager.
During the show’s anticipated spoof – which came after a week of press conferences and growing rumors surrounding the footballs used during the championship game the Patriots played against the Indianapolis Colts last Sunday – “Tom Brady” and “Bill Belichick” both offered an explanation of what happened with the team’s balls.
Team coach “Belichick,” played by Beck Bennett, put the blame on Brady. ”I never really trusted the guy. Someone that good-looking and rich … you’ve seen “ ‘American Psycho,’” he said, saying that Brady signaled to him that he was “finally going to do something about those damn footballs.”
ESPN reported 11 of the 12 balls were under-inflated. But a source from the NFL told NBC Sports that the balls were checked four hours before the game began, and met the standards for air pressure. The source did not confirm to NBC that 11 of the balls were under-inflated.
Then, he turns the question portion of the presser to the team’s quarterback “Tom Brady,” played by Taran Killam. “This is a vintage hat, pretty cool right?” he begins. And then: “I didn’t even know footballs could be inflated or deflated! … air-pressure in the ball is nerd stuff,” he says. “Brady” even attempts to divert attention to Aaron Hernandez, the former Patriots tight end whose murder trial could start as early as this week. “I mean *that* seems like a huge story, right?!”
“Well if you didn’t oversee the footballs, who did?” a question came from the audience. Brady responds: ”And for that, I would like to turn it over to the real brains behind our entire operation: assistant equipment co-manager Dougie Spoons.”
Bobby Moynihan, playing “Dougie Spoons,” ultimately admits to toying with the footballs during the game.
“You can’t handle the truth,” Spoons says. “We live in a world that has balls. And those balls have to be inflated by men, with pumps.”
Did you deflate the balls?!” a question is thrown from the audience.
“YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID,” Spoons says.
The resolution has yet to come in reality, though. The National Football League on Friday said it is still investigating the issue, issuing a statement that read, “While the evidence thus far supports the conclusion that footballs that were under-inflated were used by the Patriots in the first half, the footballs were properly inflated for the second half and confirmed at the conclusion of the game to have remained properly inflated.”
Head coach Bill Belichick told the media on Thursday during a press appearance that he had “no knowledge” about the ball under-inflation. Hours later, Brady, told reporters that he “didn’t alter the ball in any way.”