October 31, 1998 I forgot how many days I have been fasting..... I am glad my mom is not here to see this. She still buys presents for Nadia and makes dolls for her. She expects her to come home one day. The assortment of porcelain dolls as well as hand made dolls grows bigger. I look at them and wonder if Nadia will ever see them. I also know that they represent the faith and hope that my mother has in seeing her granddaughter before she dies....her faith is manifested in those dolls. Today is Halloween. I remember dressing Nadia up in a little gray sweat suit and put little mouse ears on her head for trick or treat......she was wearing that same gray sweat suit the last time I saw her. I wonder if she remembers Halloween, or English, or even me........