The government shutdown: A story in rhyme

Updated

Last night, just after the clock struck 12, House Republicans voted to push us one step closer to a government shutdown. This time, all but two of the House GOP members voting for a new bill that would only keep the government open if the Senate and President Obama agree to a one year delay in the implementation of Obamacare—something Senator Harry Reid and President Obama have already made clear is a non starter.

So now, tick… tick… tick—with every passing minute we are getting closer to 12:01am Tuesday and the first U.S. government shutdown since the mid-1990s. How on earth did we get here?

Who’s up for a little story time?

Gather ‘round, #nerdland.

I’ve a story to tell.

About how Congress is running the country.

For they have not done it well.

Once upon a time

Not long ago

A change came fast

Where it used to be slow

The people chose a new leader

In their Capitol town

And he was unlike the others

For his color was brown.

He came and prevailed

Where those others had failed

To restore the people to health

In the times when they ailed.

But alas, the leaders’ triumph

Was but a short while

For the people grew weary

With the Democrat’s style.

More jobs! More money!

The people did cry

Though the blame was on W.,

They didn’t care why.

The people were hungry

For something new in Twenty-Ten

So when Republicans came knocking

The people let them in.

Saying, come into our House!

And make things all right!

We see nothing but darkness!

Please show us the light!

So the people’s wish was granted

But little did they know

Republicans would come into their House

With a Tea Party in tow.

Out went the lady leader

Replaced with a man

With a penchant for crying

And a fondness for tans.

“We will work for the people!”

He said with a tear

“We will correct the course!

There is nothing to fear!”

Alas, he would not be able

To practice what he preached

For he would lose his ability

To keep his minions on a leash.

Those Tea Party members

They were here to stay

Shouting “Who cares what you want!

We WILL have our way!”

“The black man in the White House

We want him to go!

So when he says yes

We will always say no!”

We will hijack your government!

We will shut it all down!

Nothing will get accomplished

In your Capitol town!

Those minions ran wild!

When they were let loose

They took hold of the wheel

Dragging their party’s caboose.

But the people had grown weary

Of the the political games

They wanted something new

Not more of the same.

Kick them out of the House!

Then change all the locks!

Give my party back control!

Said their President Barack.

Only by then

It was already too late

The people let the GOP in again

Now they must suffer their fate.

So back to the brink

They dragged the country once more

But it was only the beginning

Of what was in store.

Because the people had lost control

Of the government, for and by them

And now the inmates in the crazy House

Were running the asylum.

Though Obama’s plan won the favor

Of the highest court in the land

The GOP hated Obamacare

For they did not care for Obama the man.

And so, we the people

Must helplessly watch

Our government near shutdown

With each tick of the clock

Paying our nation’s bills

Had always happened on time

But “This,” said the minions

“Is where we draw the line”

If it means punishing the people

Then suffer they will!

For we must remain in power

Upon this Capitol Hill.

As for the leader of the GOP?

Well, he never really led

Boehner lost all his power

To a Senator named Ted

Who talked and talked

And talked through the night

And laughed and smiled

While the GOP, they did fight

Except they agreed

When the fighting was done

They would not budge an inch

Not one single one!

Their preposterous plan

The Senate could not abide

And so the people were dragged along

On their Congress’s wild ride

Though their leaders had closed the government

Once many years before

17 years later

The people knew not what was in store

So this is where I pause my story

Dear #nerdland friends,

For there is still a day to stop this madness

This is not quite the end!

Maybe Congress will surprise us!

Maybe they will act faster

Then they have in the past

And avert this disaster

Which of them might save us?

I know not who is able

Perhaps we will find the answer

When I turn to my table.

So stick around #nerdland!

There’s so much at stake!

And we’re going to talk all about it.

Right after this break.

Watch the discussion that ensued now on MHPshow.com! (Sorry, no rhyme for that.)

The government shutdown: A story in rhyme

Updated