1. The Mario Brothers are plumbers. But in an obit for longtime Nintendo president, the New York Times called the brothers janitors. The paper issued a correction and regrets the error.
2. Soccer hooligans were (presumably) arguing about the soccer game they’d just watched while descending escalators. Then, the escalators start going at warp speed.
3. Unwanted hair, spilled milk, lower back pain and foot odor make us sad. Infomercial actors do such a good job at expressing that sadness. The only thing more sad is adding The Smiths to a montage of all the sad infomercial actors being sad.